Just A Little Late
by The Tambourine Man
Summary: The war is over. As everyone prepares to return to civilian life, Minerva finds that the whole affair could have been much easier. She does not take it well. (Technically postgame, but only spoilers through chapter 10.)


"I can't believe it's finally over." Claude Wallace said. He stood with his NCOs Riley Miller and Leena "Kai" Schulen as they watched the members of Squad E break camp for what was probably the last time.

"And why not?" asked a newcomer, Minerva Victor. "I thought this was what you wanted?" She approached the group, but didn't move in as close as the other three were. She didn't have the shared history they did, and it felt like trespassing on something.

"It's not like I'm not _happy_." Claude said shaking his head. "But… I feel like I've been at war for so long, civilian life just feels so far away. Like I'm going back to a different planet."

"After everything that's happened, being a different planet sounds pretty good." Riley said. "An end to the fighting would be nice."

"What do you think you're doing, ya dumb punk?"

"If only some of our comrades agreed." Kai said wryly.

"I'll take care of it." Minerva said, her voice somewhere between an angry snarl and an annoyed sigh.

"It" was an argument between Godwin and Curtis Blackwell- except that Curtis wasn't actually arguing back.

"Imps couldn't do it, so you thought you could huh? Is that it?"

Curtis, despite being about half Godwin's age and twice his size, couldn't seem to do much more than stare at the ground and awkwardly shuffle his feet.

"Of course not, how stupid of me. That would imply you were actually thinking anything, ya dumb shit!"

"What's the problem?" Minerva asked, with nary a hint of concern.

"This asshole dropped his damn crate," Godwin said, indicating a wooden box large enough to reach his thigh, "And nearly took off my foot with it!"

"I-it was an accident…" Curtis said weakly.

"Oh, well I'm sorry. I forgot that makes everything just peachy."

Curtis tried to respond, but it seemed like he could barely make a sound.

"What's that? Ya got-"

"Leave him alone!" Of course. Wherever Curtis was in trouble, his little sister Eileen wouldn't be far behind.

"What did you say?" Godwin replied.

"It was an accident. He's sorry. Let's leave it and get back to work already."

"Oh, sure. I forgot you two were really looking forward to getting back to your little town and your wedded life together, right?"

Eileen stared dumbly. Minerva stared dumbly. Somehow, Curtis was the one to talk, or at least mumble. "You know she's my sister, right?"

Godwin grinned. "Hey, ain't stopping you guys, right? When can we expect the first little twelve-fingered dwarf?"

"Godwin, stop." Curtis said quietly, but firmly.

"Aw, no need to get bashful. Everyone here knows-"

" **STILL THINE WRETCHED TONGUE!"** Eileen found her voice. In fact, it sounded like she had found her voice several times.

Minerva, Curtis, and everyone else in the camp stared in shock. Godwin stared in horror, as though he had just seen the gate to hell itself. He tried backing away too quickly, and ended up falling on his behind.

Standing over him, cloaked in blue flame, gazing down on him with cold, red eyes, was Eileen.

A Valkyria.

"H-hey c'mon now. You know it was just a joke, right? Just a little jape between friends, right?"

Eileen regarded him coldly. All sound in the camp- all the shouting and clatter, the roaring engines and clanging tools- had died. The air seemed so still that to even breath would cut the silence.

"Eileen." It was Rosetta, often a voice for mercy among the squad, who finally broke the silence. "Please. Not now. Not like this."

Eileen let out a long, slow breath. Her flames seemed to fizzle out along with it. "I wasn't going to hurt him. Even if he was being a jerk." She scanned the crowd around her. Before, she'd always been a figure trusted among the rest of the squad. Suddenly almost every face was looking at her with caution. Watching for signs of that same anger coming back. It felt like a shot in the gut, knowing their trust in her had fallen apart so quickly.

Or it would have, if Curtis hadn't started ruffling her hair right then.

"Always knew you were special, sis."

"Curtis, stop!" Eileen said, although the giggle in her voice made her sound less than angry.

"You really need to learn to watch what you say to people." Said Rosetta, as she offered Godwin a hand to help him up. Theirs was, perhaps, the second strangest friendship among Squad E.

"Yeah, yeah." Said Godwin, as he took her hand.

"Godwin!" it was Nico, one of the younger squad members and a friend to both of them. "I heard what happened. I thought you might need some of this." She said as she offered him a Ragnaid dispenser.

"Thanks, but I'm good. Wait, what's that you've got in your other hand?"

"Oh, I thought you might need these, too." She handed him a clean pair of pants.

From anyone else, Godwin would've taken it as an insult. As he has yet to see any evidence that Nico was capable of being snide, he simply took the pants. "Thanks."

"Hey, Eileen, could you help me carry this crate?"

"Sure thi-"

"WHAT IN THE GODDAMN HELL WAS THAT?" Minerva screamed.

"Language!" Nice scolded.

"YOU'RE A VALKYRIA, AND YOU WENT THROUGH THE WHOLE WAR WITHOUT EVER USING ALL THAT GODDAMN POWER?"

"Being a Valkyria is news to me, too. And do you have to yell every word?"

"HOW COU- sorry- How the hell could that be the first time?

"Language!"

"Valkyria are supposed to awaken when they're near death!"

"I sure _felt_ like I was going to die. Do you know how embarrassing it is to have people talk to you like that?"

"I've seen you shot and bleeding out. Twice. How in the hell was _that_ the thing that made you awaken?"

"Language!"

"How should I know? I don't know anything about how Valkyria work!"

Minerva turned to look at Riley. "I can't say it's impossible. There's still a lot about Valkyria that we don't understand."

"Graah! And was the hell was up with your diction? I've never heard you use 'thine' before."

"Language, please."

Eileen shrugged.

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know. It just came out that way. Do I have to keep answering questions, or can I get back to work?"

"Dja- chich- Graaah! Yes! Get back to your goddamned wo-"

" **CEASE THY SACRILIGOUS WORDS!"**

Godwin, Rosetta, and everyone else in the camp stared in shock as everything was once more bathed in the light of ethereal blue fire. Minerva stared in horror, as though she had just seen the gates of Hell itself.

Or at least, she would have if the newly awakened Valkyria glaring at her had been anyone other that Nico. She was pretty much the opposite of scary, even if she could melt a tank now.

"Oh, sorry. I think I got a little carried away."

" **Okay. But please be careful with what you say in the future."**

Nico turned and went to join Godwin and Rosetta. " **Hey guys, do you think the Yggdists will start converting if I order them to?"**

"I think it's certainly worth a try." Said Rosetta, who seemed remarkably unperturbed about the whole thing.

"Two… We had two of them all along. One Valkyria is practically an army herself, but could you imagine what two of them could do? I-if they'd just awakened earlier… We could've beaten back Crymaria earlier. We could've saved the whole fleet. We could've- Okay, who the hell bumped into me!?"

Minerva spun and found that the culprit was Neige LePreton, a shy, timid girl who looked liked she belonged pretty much anywhere else but the Ranger Corps.

"I-I-I-…" She seemed to be having trouble actually talking. Minerva couldn't blame her for that. She hadn't been in charge of drilling Squad E for very long, but she had done her best to make an impression on them.

It wasn't until Neige's stuttering died down into a steady, heavy series of breaths and she began casting nervous glance around that Minerva noticed that camp had fallen quiet yet again. She scowled. Well, she was already scowling, but she tried to do it even more. Two Valkyria awakening for inane reasons in as many minutes was already a one-in-a-billion chance. There was no possible way something that unlikely was going to happen again immediately afterward.

' **TAKE FROM ME YOUR BALEFUL GAZES!"**

Stupid Gambler's Fallacy. Everyone in camp was now doing his or her best to look at anything but the girl wreathed in blue fire.

"Three. Three Valkyria. Including a sniper. We-we-" Her mind was flooded with imagines of every foe and battle they had faced, being crushed effortlessly by a trio of girls who weren't even old enough to drink. "This is- this-"

"Looooksh like shomebody needsh thish." It was Vancey, the squad lush, offering her a battered flask.

"Do you have any idea how many regulations that's breaking?"

"Whaat are they gonna do? Dishcharge me?"

Minerva grabbed the flask and poured it down her throat. It warmed her all the way down, as if a mass of tiny hands were jabbing her esophagus with a multitude of equally tiny knives.

"Great tashte, huh? They alwayshtold me that I cuddint ferment a pair of socks, but I sssshowed them!"

"That was the worst thing I've ever drank." Minerva said, as she handed back the flask. At least it had taken her mind off of the cruel absurdity of her life.

"Ohye? Ya sshtill drank the whooole thing."

"You offered it to me. Don't complain."

And then there was yet another burst of blue light. **"A POOKSH- PIKSH? PEKSH? PAWKSH?- PAWKSH UPON YEEER GLUTTINOUSH MAW!"**

 _Now_ Minerva was scared. Vancey, even drunk off her ass, was still one of the deadliest members of Squad E even before she could turnsomeone into an ugly stain on the ground. Thinking carefully through her training and remembering her family pride, she immediately fell back to a safer location while letting out what was definitely a fierce cry meant to deter pursuit and not something that made her sound like a frightened six-year old who wanted her mommy.

"Hey Minerva, doin' alright?" It was Hanna; Squad E's best cook. She was currently sitting in front of a large crate, engaging in an arm wrestling match with Jean, Squad E's best arm wrestler. They seemed evenly matched at the moment, but there was no way she could beat a woman who was undefeated in over a hundred matches. Minerva would know; she had been Jean's opponent in at least seventy.

She was never one to back down when there was a foe to surpass.

"It turns out we have a Valkyria in the Squad. Or four. _At least._ "

"Isn't that a good thing?" This time it was Jean asking the question.

"It doesn't matter if it's all _after_ the war is over."

"It really is quite the bad luck, isn't it?" Minerva tried to figure out when, exactly, Lily Allen had joined the conversation. Or even where she'd come from.

"What are you so surprised about, anyway? After what we went through, you shouldn't be surprised this unit has some special people."

"Being a Valkyria is more than just a little 'special', Hanna. In this entire war, the number of known Valkyria could be counted on one hand. Do you have any idea how rare they are?"

"After what just happened, are they really?" Jean asked.

"I think she might have a point." Lily said. "After all, didn't every girl go through a phase were she thought she might be a Valkkyria? Didn't we all break our legs jumping off the roof when we were young, hoping it might awaken our powers?"

"No."

"Nuh-uh."

"Nope."

"You people are weird." Lily huffed.

"Says the girl who's-huh!?" Jean cut herself off as she realized that Hanna had gotten the upper hand on her in every sense of the word. She watched in horror as her hand inched closer to the top of the crate.

"Heh. Hope you enjoyed being undefeated."

"I- **I SHALL NOT FALL HERE."** And so, wreathed in blue flame, Jean quickly erased Hanna's lead.

And the crate they were using.

And the patch of ground it was sitting on. Minerva watched the cloud of dust, stunned. She didn't see much movement coming from it. Jean watched, concern written all over her face.

Then the all-too-familiar blue glow erupted from the crater.

" **FIE ON ME FOR MY DEFEAT! WOULDST THOU ACCEPT BEST OF THREE?"**

"How could this day get any more ridiculous?"

And then Lily erupted into her own blue flame.

"Oh come one! _Nothing_ even happened to you!"

Lily just gave Minerva her usual mysterious-yet-oddly-smug smile.

"Aren't you even going to give us some over-dramatic line?"

" **NAY."**

That was it. Minerva took all of her anger- from being bested time and again in the academy, from losing Christel and the rest of her squad, from never being able to truly surpass Claude, and now from being the butt of some cosmic joke- and punched Lily in the face with all her might.

Lily didn't budge.

From the loud squashing noise and the horrible pain in her arm, it seemed Minerva was not as lucky.

"That was uncalled for." Said Lily, before walking away. Minerva was too busy nursing her hand to notice.

" **I heard screaming over here. Does anybody need help?"** Asked Nico, still alight and brandishing a Ragnaid dispenser.

Minerva raised what was left of her hand in response.

A moment later, the pain had receded and she was able to move her fingers again. "Thank you, Nico. But you can turn the flames off if you want."

 **"I… actually don't know how."**

Some time later, Minerva finally found her way back to the other officers.

"Well, that was really… weird." Claude said.

"Weird doesn't even begin to describe it. This squad probably had the means to defeat the entire imperial army by itself. You could've saved Squad F. But just because we didn't do some stupid little thing or another, we got _the bloodiest war in human history._ Is this all we are? Just a bunch of players, spending our lives putting on some absurd farce while God laughs and- dammit Connor, what are you doing?"

Connor looked up from his notepad. "What? That monologue was going to be the climax of my boo-"

"GET LOST!" Connor, in a display of uncharacteristic prudence, fled.

"But I really don't think we could've." Clause said.

"What do you mean?"

"Squad F. I don't think we could've saved them."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because we were late to that rendezvous. And more power wouldn't have gotten us there faster. Having an army doesn't mean anything if they're not in the position to do anything."

"That-you-you… **YOU REALLY PISS ME OFF CLAUDE!"** Blue flame, once more. This time it was Minerva's. Minerva looked down at her own hands, stunned. Claude seemed oddly unfazed.

" **He… he he… hehehehahahahahahah… well, at least I have one comfort from all this."**

"And what's that?"

" **I've finally beaten you. Even if I can't become the commander you are, I'm a Valkyria and you're not. I have something now that you will never, EVER have. I've been waiting for this for so long."**

And with that, Claude erupted into his own blue flames.

 **"FASCINATING."** was all Claude has to say on the matter.

 **"Bu-bu-bu-How? HOW!? Men can't be Valkyria!"**

"Well, it seems that isn't the case." Riley said.

" **Graah! If anyone needs me, I'm going to be getting smashed."** Said Minerva, before pulling her boots off and storming away with her socks in her hand.

 **Author's Note: This story doesn't exactly follow the rules for how Valkyria are supposed to work, but I thought it would be funnier with some liberties. It's oddly fun writing about Minerva getting pissed off.**


End file.
